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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Tue Dec 01, 2020 6:15 pm
by CadburyMan
A man goes to the optician for his annual eye test.
The optician puts a contraption on his face, and asks him what he can see.
"I can see empty airports and empty football grounds. I can see closed theatres, pubs and restaurants," he says.
"That's perfect," replied the optician, "you've got 20/20 vision."
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:28 am
by gillsfan1066
Just think, if you die from Coronavirus even your Death will be "Made in China".
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Tue Dec 08, 2020 7:46 pm
by CadburyMan
And it's the longest anything created in China has ever lasted
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:53 am
by CadburyMan
A man walks into a bar - lucky b*****d !
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:17 pm
by gillsfan1066
Girlfriend left me yesterday after we payed golf. She said you spent ages looking for that damn golf ball all day but can't spend five minutes looking for my G spot, packed her bags, and slammed the door on her way out. Happy Christmas , BAH HUMBUG.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Tue Dec 22, 2020 10:42 pm
by CadburyMan
Great News
Nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & the Ants sheet music they'll throw in a stand and deliver
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Thu Dec 24, 2020 11:15 am
by CadburyMan
i didn't realise I had a drink problem until I tried Advocaat - I had one glass and it just snowballed
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Sat Dec 26, 2020 12:21 am
by gillsfan1066
Christmas is exactly like my job, I do all the work and some fat guy in a suite gets all the credit.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Sat Dec 26, 2020 12:38 am
by gillsfan1066
What does the The Houses of Parliament, The US Senate, and the Stable that Jesus was born in all have in common ?................All were well supplied with asses .
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted:
Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:18 am
by CadburyMan
I paid up front for a carpenter to make me a double bed and the bugger's only gone and done a bunk.
Its just one thing on top of another !!