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Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Sat Oct 10, 2020 2:50 pm
by CadburyMan
Just spilled the entire contents of a bottle of Flash on the floor.

Not sure whether that counts as a mess or otherwise ?

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2020 2:20 pm
by CadburyMan
Breaking news

Man hit by flying power tool says that everything was fine and then ......


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Bosch

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 12:13 pm
by gillsfan1066
Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms, one is a Goodyear, and one is a GREAT YEAR.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Sat Oct 17, 2020 12:17 pm
by gillsfan1066
NOW lets talk about the ANT JOKE, of course I didn't get it because the damn thing filled the entire box, and only recently has that bottom line been lifted enough to show there was more pics underneath, so of course I didn't get the damn joke. Anyway now I do, and I don't find it very funny, to think I spent hours of my life trying to understand that stupid joke, hours I will never get back again, and I might need when Evans take the might Gills into the Premier Division in the 2022/'2023 season.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Mon Oct 19, 2020 11:34 am
by CadburyMan
Come on admit it - you loved the ant joke - you know you did :-)

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2020 8:36 am
by gillsfan1066
I hate you, I hate everyone that let me spend hours and hours of my life trying to figure out that stupid joke, I hate Mr G more than most,I sent him 500 bucks to tell me what the joke was and he kept the money and said he didn't get the joke either he just pretended to. More than anyone I hate the person that finally pulled the little black line up at the bottom of the picture so I could see there was something underneath.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:06 pm
by Garawa
That is more funny than the jokes! I'm sitting here with my Chicago Fire socks on imagining you getting more and more frustrated only to find the little slider lol

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2020 2:06 pm
by gillsfan1066
Mr G ,I swear I looked at the damn joke for hours, everytime I came to this site I looked at it, one night myself and half a dozen guys sat around a table choosing our American Football Fantasy team, and everyone looked at it and no one found it funny, which I kind of felt grateful for because it eased my mind and convinced me that, that,that ,what was I going to say,well what eve had not set in ??? I had AeroMan for that joke,lol, and for everyone on this site that KNEW I was not getting it, and did nothing to help poor,poor me, lumps of coal for all of you at Christmas time.

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2020 7:11 pm
by CadburyMan
During his routine checkup Santa asked the Doctor. "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life?"

Dr: "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now."

Santa: "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense."

Dr: "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."

Re: The Joke Thread

PostPosted: Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:25 am
by gillsfan1066
Mr.Garawa day when there is no game at Priestfield . He started off going to the dentist in the morning, the dentist said," You need a crown", to which Mr.G answered
" Finally someone who understands me." The dentist started to do the work on G, " Listen " said the dentist "this might be a bit painful but ",Mr G interrupted him and said
"Don't worry I can take it" , the dentist sighed, said "OK then , for a while now I've been having an affair with your wife " .
Depressed on the way home he stopped for lunch because he once told me his wife's cooking was , well lets just say not as good as his old Moms. The waiter said, "And for you Sir ", looking across at the table next to him he said, " I will have what that womans having please", to which the waiter replied ," No Sir your won't , have you seen the size of her,I am sure she is going to eat it all herself " .
After walking around for a couple of hours he decided he still loved his wife, going home he sent the 10 kids to there rooms and opening a bottle of wine he sat down to talk to the lovely Mrs G. After a while she shouted out " I love you ", G smiled, gave her a kiss and said "is that you or the wine talking " , " It's me talking to the wine" said Mrs G pouring another 24 ounce mug full of a full blooded red 3 pound bottle from Tesco's.
Giving it one last try he said " honey , I really want to satisfy you in bed tonight" she said "great" and threw a blanket and pillow on the sofa, saying "sleep tight".
As he laid on the couch pulling the covers up she kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight. " Will you call me when you next have an orgasim " he asked rather bashfully, of course I will she whispered "is it OK for me to call you at work " ? Nibbling on his ear Mrs G said G,( in her sultry Marlene Dietrich voice), can I spend 10,000 pounds on breast implants " He looked at her and said why don't you just rub toilet paper on them", "i don't get what you mean" she said. Rolling over he yawned and said, " well it worked on your ass didn't it" and fell asleep a happy man.................................Just joking Mrs. G, just joking.