Gillingham FC Forum

Sharon Stone is 64 now,I am sure Mrs Cadbury is just as beautiful today as Miss Stone is. In fact I bet if you were to buy an exact copy of the white dress Sharon wears in Basic Instinct, for say Mrs C's birthday . Now with regards to the dress which my dear Mr Cadburyman I can can obtain for a mere $122 US Dollar and 84 cents if your interested . I would be more than happy to purchase one and send it to you from a company called Pilaryourdressmaker on Etsy her size is ?? . If you give me her shoe size I can get a pair of the low heeled sling backs Sharon wore in the movie.
That's about all I can do, I will leave you to explain that to complete the Sharon Stone fantasy um er, er um your honey bunny is going to need a trip, ALL the way to Brazil,if you know what I mean .
Let me know if you want the dress and shoes, there are other great movie scenes you guys could act out in the meantime, the Vintage Wicker Peacock Chair, the love of my life Sylvia Kristel sat on in Emmanuelle could be fun, Last Tango in Paris, Fifty Shades of White and Black .

Two sociologists relaxing by a hotel pool. One says to the other "Have you read Marx?"

The other says "Yes, I think it's these wicker chairs"

I bought a wardrobe from IKEA. I put it together, and it wouldn't fit in my car.

That green sign saying 'Assembly Point' just outside their store is a really bad idea...

Just seen a documentary about the worst winters people have ever witnessed..

Mike and Bernie are right up there for me…

Talking of assembly I recently bought a new 5 G High-Speed Internet Gateway, they did everything in the store, just take it home and plug it in Sir ,and you will be ready to go. So Monday night I did just that,up on the screen comes three simple lines, Your name, Location, , PASSWORD. OK password, maybe my computer or cell phone password my carrier is the same as the new machine, ....NO. Maybe my email password...NO, oh it's got to be on the box,everything is written so small I have to get the magnifying glass out....tried a few numbers that were written on the box...NO, looked all over the machine nothing that said password , even looked on the receipt just incase,...NO,... time for the obligately phone call to the guy in the Philippines, that takes 35 minutes of me listening to the same three bars of music followed by an advert for something else they sell every 45 seconds.
Eventually a voice comes on the line , I say I have just bought a new 5G Internet Gateway what or where is the password, OK Sir I can help you with that,followed by silence while I hear him talking to someone. Back he comes,don't you know your password Sir ? Of course I do,I just wanted to hang on to a call for 35 minutes and talk to someone halfway around the world. NO I F**g DON"T, where or what is it ? I don't know Sir he says, but I am here to help you ,so keep calm and let me ask my manager.
The Password Number turns out to be on the bottom of the unit under a silver piece of paper,which you have to remove to show something called the KEY NUMBER,I felt as silly as Mr G did last week , after all isn't that what everyone calls their password, there Key Number ?

Two guys talking. One says to the other, ‘what do you do for a living?’ Second man replies, ‘I’m a spy!’
‘So why are you dressed like a shepherd then?’ says Guy 1. Guy 2 says, ‘because I’m a shepherds’ spy!’

William comes home and his wife says to him “Your brother just rang and said ‘ I’ve got bills to pay’. You haven’t been giving him money have you? And by the way, where’s your wig”?

OOOKKKK...... Bill is short for William, and a bills to pay and a wig, OOOOOKKKKKKK ? What the &$@# is wrong with jokes like ............A blond walks into the doctors and says doctor I hurt all over , when I touch my arm, ouch it hurts, when I touch my knee, ouch it hurts , when I touch my head , ouch it hurts ,whats wrong with me ? Doctor looks at her and says ,You have a broken finger.
Now I can understand that ,but Bill being William and a wig, and owing money what the hell are you yacking on about ?

A lawyer and a pretty blond are sitting on a flight from NY to LA, after a while he says to her " do you want to play a game, where we ask each other questions and you give me 5 bucks if you don't know the answer to my questions and I give you 500 bucks if I don't know the answer to yours" ?
She sighs and says," I have been up all night I just want to sleep" but the lawyer keeps on bugging her until she says "OK fine you go first". The Lawyers says " how far is it from Earth to the Moon " ? For 30 minutes she guesses all different distances ,and in the end opens her purse and says," I don't know, here is 5 bucks ".
Laughing he lawyer says " your turn ". The blond looks at him and says ," what goes up the hill with three legs, but comes down with four " ? For the rest of the flight the lawyer looks for the answer. He is on his laptop, taps into the airphone with his modem, searches the Library of Congress for the answer, calls his friends , eventually the plane is on it's final approach to LAX ,and as it touches down the blond wakes up. As the plane docks he reluctantly gives her five hundred bucks . She smiles takes the money ,puts it in her purse, gets up to exit the plane and hands him $5. Who said blonds were dumb ?
See I get that joke, wigs and bills what the &%#* ?

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

Apparently he didn't know.

Hahaha, very funny, very German .Nein,Nein, Nein,....... Can I help you , Do you need the Fire,Police or Ambulance, ...Ambulance and straight jacket for Mr.C please.