Gillingham FC Forum

The Wife asked me for something that does nought to Sixty in 5 Seconds for her Birthday..
... I bought her a set of bathroom scales.

Some years ago a small rural town in Spain twinned with a similar town in Greece.
The mayor of the Greek town visited the Spanish town. When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Spanish mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.
The Spaniard replied:‘You see that bridge over there? The EU gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.’
The following year the Spaniard visited the Greek town. He was simply amazed at the Greek mayor's house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs, it was marvellous.
When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Greek mayor said:‘You see that bridge over there?’
The Spaniard replied: ‘No.’

"My mate has a new job clearing leaves this Autumn.

He reckons he’s going to rake it in."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's the hottest part of the sun?

Page 3"

Back to the Future

Oy, that was uncalled for!

Sometimes... when you cry ... no one sees your tears... sometimes... when you are happy... no one sees your smile... But fart just one time...

Old people poke me at weddings and tell me "your next"
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Most commen lies ever told:
"I didn't do it"
"I'm fine"
"I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions"

Ha ha, welcome to the board Phil. Love your first one!!