The Joke Thread

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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Tue Mar 29, 2022 10:46 pm

OK, I never did get the joke with Bill and the Wig,what was it please ?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Sat Apr 02, 2022 8:10 am

Guy goes into a Clocksmith’s shop and asks “Do you have any Potato clocks?”

Puzzled the Clocksmith replies " I sell all kinds including Cuckoo Clocks, Carriage Clocks, Grandfather Clocks etc but what the hell is a Potato Clock?

"I dunno! Says the guy “I’m starting a new job tomorrow and my wife said I better get a Potato Clock”
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Sat Apr 02, 2022 12:13 pm

1066 - how are you getting on with Bill and the wig ?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Sun Apr 03, 2022 3:47 pm

Gave up on the wig and the potato clock jokes, I am just too thick to get them I guess hahaha. I even showed some people who came for dinner one night and they looked at me like I was stupid ,then they muttered something about the English sense of humour being different from American. One of those guys has been a detective for ten years hahaha, and the other guys wife is a pathologist. NO I have given up.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Mon Apr 04, 2022 7:06 am

Read it out loud as "Bill's toupee" and it ought to come clear

Get a potato clock - again read it aloud as "get up at 8 o'clock"
Last edited by CadburyMan on Thu Apr 14, 2022 7:24 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Mon Apr 04, 2022 12:48 pm

I bow to you Sir ,I will never ,never, ever be able to tell jokes like wot you can . I stand here in the cold, the snowflakes falling from a grey sky ,looking to the east across Lake Michigan towards old blighty and Priestfield Stadium with the few tears I have shed frozen to my cheeks in utter de feet.
I have withdrawn the remaining money from Mr.Lidbit's Fund Me Page, and have sent the shilling donated by dear Ms Fanny Mulligan off to a company in the Cotswolds that informed me last night they will be sending you ........................the diamond studded............ JESTERS HAT,asap.
SO I AM HUMBLY NOW OFFICIALLY CROWNING YOU,............ GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUBS JESTER LAUREATE ,........ THE TITLE OF " FOOL " YOU WILL HOLD FROM THIS DAY FORTH FOR ALL TIMES.
This day, Monday April 4th 2022 will go down in the Nations history books as a date comparable to only Sunday October 14th 1066, or Sunday September 2nd 1666.
............................................................................ ALL BOW TO CADBURY THE FOOL. .........................................................................................


Mr Garawa, draw you sword, behead that man who is not bowing to THE FOOL. OK he is standing on his head,because he is from where, ozzy ,what's that ? A country of upside down people , in that case chop off his feet .
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Sat Apr 09, 2022 7:37 am

Been out bird watching with Sinead O’conner ….
…… 7 owls and 15 jays ..
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Sat Apr 09, 2022 10:35 pm

I was in this shop and i pointed to my favourite album and i said that's the one I'd get, all of a sudden this cyclops appears from nowhere and slaps me across the face.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Wed Apr 13, 2022 8:52 pm

I bought a new laptop; all it did was play a song where this lady kept singing about "Someone Like You".

I phoned tech support; they reminded me I'd bought a Dell.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Thu Apr 14, 2022 5:59 pm

I walked passed the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sat outside crying.

I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down.”
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