One for Posh!

[shoutingman]

I don't care who you support, this is funny….


A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.



Suddenly a line of big cars pulled up beside her.
Out of the lead car stepped a grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm the leader of the Labour Party, Ed Miliband.
What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Miliband.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Labour supporters," answered Suzy with a smile.

Miliband was delighted.
As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two of them agreed that he should return the next day;
and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again on the pavement with her basket of "FREE KITTENS,"
when Milliband's motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from BBC, ITV, ABC, CNN and Sky News,

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Miliband got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Conservative/Liberal Democrat supporters."

Taken by surprise, Ed stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were LABOUR SUPPORTERS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know.

But today, they have their eyes open."

[Poshgill]

Yes. Very good Shoutingman, although my favourite joke at the moment is:

An 86 year old Jewish man went to Confession. 'Father, I have to confess that I had sex with a 28 year old young lady last night, and we made love 3 times!'

The Priest said: 'Cohen, why are you telling me this. You are not a Catholic!'

Cohen said: 'Telling you? I'm telling everybody!'

[shoutingman]

[Rimshot]

I get it...coalition voters are duplicitous basket cases.

[shoutingman]

Mmmm... not sure anybody actually voted for a coalition, since that wasn't an option on the ballot paper

Anyway, if you prefer:

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big cars pulled up beside her.
Out of the lead car stepped a grinning man.

"Hi there little girl, I'm the leader of the Conservative Party, David Cameron.
What do you have in the basket?" he asked.

"Kittens," little Suzy said.

"How old are they?" asked Cameron.

Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."

"And what kind of kittens are they?"

"Conservative supporters," answered Suzy with a smile.

Cameron was delighted.
As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two of them agreed that he should return the next day;
and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.

So the next day, Suzy was again on the pavement with her basket of "FREE KITTENS,"
when Cameron's motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from BBC, ITV, ABC, CNN and Sky News,

Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Cameron got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."

"Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Labour supporters."

Taken by surprise, Dave stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were CONSERVATIVE SUPPORTERS."

Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know.

But today, they have their eyes open."

[CadburyMan]

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.



BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.



A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.



A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.



A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.



AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.



A GREEK CORPORATION

You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

You eat both of them.

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

The IMF loans you two cows.

You eat both of them.

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

You are out getting a haircut.

[Garawa]

Absolutely brilliant!!!!!!!! Blooming love it!!!!!!!