The Joke Thread

[CadburyMan]

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’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure.

I've got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me. O V N R.

[gillsfan1066]

Clue please ..I have never heard of him ,he is a singer with which band ?

[CadburyMan]

Just got back from a trip to Oak Furniture Land - worst theme park ever !

[CadburyMan]

My wife walked into the kitchen and said, "didn't you hear me fall down the stairs"?

I replied, "sorry love , I thought it was just the start of Eastenders ......!"

[CadburyMan]

Went to the shops in Yorkshire, l asked where l could find towels and was given directions to a bird sanctuary ...

[JoeyVimsante]

What does a Welsh woman play with on St David's day? A daffoldildo.

[JoeyVimsante]

One cow says to the other Meow, meow.
The other cow says what are you saying?
The other cow says learning a foreign language.

[CadburyMan]

I bought my wife a beautiful slinky dress for her birthday - she looks amazing going down the stairs

[CadburyMan]

I accidentally just knocked someone over in Dominos Pizza.

Well, I say one...

[CadburyMan]

I used to go out with a girl named Lynsey Doyle she smelled like a cricket bat..