The Joke Thread

Discussion relating to anything not football related

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Mon Apr 18, 2022 9:21 am

A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said “I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person”
The dwarf replied “I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get the shit kicked out of me”
“It’s ok” said the woman “ my husband is working away until next week “
So, against his better judgment he goes back with the woman.
Well, they start having amazing sex, when suddenly the front door opens.
“Shit, it’s my husband “ she said
“ quick, hang out of the bedroom window, and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away”
So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips.
The husband comes in the bedroom and says “ damn, it’s cold in here” and slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground.
Well the woman is distraught and calls an ambulance.
A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in hospital
“How are you” ? She asked
“Well my fingers are broken, I’ve got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion “ he said
“Oh dear” she said
“Still , it could have been much worse “
“Much worse !” Said the dwarf
“How do you figure that out?”



>

>




“Well” she said......“It’s lucky I live in a bungalow”
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Thu Apr 21, 2022 5:10 pm

All jokes aside, and I don't get the Dell one , the cyclopes joke has gone way,way over my head, I do get the Village People one but only because Mr. Bunbury told me,he was a great fan and the Indian guy in the group.
With regards to Sinead O'Connor she lived very close with friends to us for a while in the burbs north of Chicago, back in May 2016 she went out cycling and did not return that evening, she had half the police force looking for her all night . Seems she had found new friends and stayed with them for the night.
gillsfan1066
 
Posts: 3911
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:13 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:15 am

A Girl in our class used to smell like an old cricket bat.

I wonder where Lindsay Doyle is now?
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Thu Apr 28, 2022 7:43 am

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says "G".

The teacher says, "Why is that Angus?"
Last edited by CadburyMan on Wed May 11, 2022 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Mon May 09, 2022 12:38 pm

My missus agreed to wear a surprise dress I am having made for her 60th birthday party.

On the front will be a big arrow pointing down and reading" To the Magic Kingdom". On the back will read "best before 1991
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Mon May 09, 2022 12:43 pm

So whilst talking my wife through basic checks under the bonnet of her car …..

…..she asked what the 7I0 cap was for
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Tue May 17, 2022 8:32 am

I once stole a flock of crows and nobody caught me! Yes, I got away with a murder
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Tue May 17, 2022 9:22 am

I get the A Dell one,but still don't get the cyclops joke, can I buy a vowel or a big hint please ?
gillsfan1066
 
Posts: 3911
Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 8:13 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Wed May 18, 2022 12:52 pm

"One I'd get"
"One-eyed git"
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Wed May 18, 2022 12:55 pm

I bought my wife a beautiful slinky dress.

She looks amazing going down the stairs.
CadburyMan
 
Posts: 1022
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:58 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Non-Football Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron