The Joke Thread

Discussion relating to anything not football related

Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Tue Dec 01, 2020 6:15 pm

A man goes to the optician for his annual eye test.

The optician puts a contraption on his face, and asks him what he can see.

"I can see empty airports and empty football grounds. I can see closed theatres, pubs and restaurants," he says.

"That's perfect," replied the optician, "you've got 20/20 vision."
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Fri Dec 04, 2020 9:28 am

Just think, if you die from Coronavirus even your Death will be "Made in China".
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Tue Dec 08, 2020 7:46 pm

And it's the longest anything created in China has ever lasted
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Mon Dec 21, 2020 11:53 am

A man walks into a bar - lucky b*****d !
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Mon Dec 21, 2020 9:17 pm

Girlfriend left me yesterday after we payed golf. She said you spent ages looking for that damn golf ball all day but can't spend five minutes looking for my G spot, packed her bags, and slammed the door on her way out. Happy Christmas , BAH HUMBUG.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Tue Dec 22, 2020 10:42 pm

Great News

Nice offer on Amazon - if you buy all Adam & the Ants sheet music they'll throw in a stand and deliver
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Thu Dec 24, 2020 11:15 am

i didn't realise I had a drink problem until I tried Advocaat - I had one glass and it just snowballed
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Sat Dec 26, 2020 12:21 am

Christmas is exactly like my job, I do all the work and some fat guy in a suite gets all the credit.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby gillsfan1066 » Sat Dec 26, 2020 12:38 am

What does the The Houses of Parliament, The US Senate, and the Stable that Jesus was born in all have in common ?................All were well supplied with asses .
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Re: The Joke Thread

Postby CadburyMan » Wed Jan 06, 2021 10:18 am

I paid up front for a carpenter to make me a double bed and the bugger's only gone and done a bunk.

Its just one thing on top of another !!
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